Thursday, October 13, 2016

mom jeans

at long last i finally understand why women of all shapes and sizes succumb to the black hole that is mom jeans. i used to be that girl that looked on in judgment and now i'm all like i'm with you. let my pants sit below the mom pooch and let the pooch dangle in the breeze OR pull those pants up over the pooch and maybe just maybe the stiff material of the jeans will act as some sort of tummy control. i choose the latter every single time.

this is serious business. i realized after birthing the #rowenugget that clothing companies worldwide should just give up on making pants with zippers and buttons and snaps and just stick to the elastic waist. elastic waistbands for president! mom jeans with elastic waistbands. even better.

the reality is that i lost almost all of the baby weight pretty quickly. and then life happened. a newborn who never slept more than 90 consecutive minutes. eating for convenience and comfort. zero time to exercise. and slowly, over the course of a year, half that "baby weight" came back.

listen. i am only 5'2'' and that's generous. i'm actually 5' 1.75". i'm short. i'm really short. i was also that twenty four year old that could eat salads for a week and lose 10 pounds. and i wasn't really paying attention to the fact that my mom pooch wasn't going away because i had just had a baby. and i kept thinking that time was all that food belly needed to let go and leave me in peace. cue summer 2016 and i realized that i was no longer carrying "baby weight" and had just gained weight. blame it on the looming 3-0, the french fries, the red wine (don't listen, cabernet. i'd never blame you).

she makes thigh rolls look so good, i thought i'd join her?

right before the panda turned one i started running again. like really doing my best and not just lamely jogging for 9 minutes until i thought i would pass out. but it wasn't enough. so in july i said goodbye to gluten AND dairy and i really thought life was over. now it's autumn and one season later i am finally finally finally 1 glorious pound under that pre-baby weight. i'll confess that i only had 15 pounds to lose but that seemed like mount everest in june. now there's a new problem looming and it's not the number on the scale or the mom pooch that won't leave no matter how nicely i ask it to.

it's not the number on the scale. but too many times i let it be about the number on the scale.

i have fought my butt off these past few months to get back in shape. i am going to keep fighting to stay in shape and stay healthy. because i deserve it and my family deserves me at my very best. but it's not the number on the scale. unfortunately, i've spent half a lifetime tying my self worth to that number. and the scale is a cruel mistress.

my husband tells me all the time i'm a toothpick but i can't seem to hear him. he reminds me that my panda deserves a mother who thinks she's beautiful at any number because she needs to grow up to see herself in the same way. and he's so right.

so lady in the mom jeans. join me as we enter this holiday season of carbs in remembering that who you are isn't defined by how high you have to hike those pants. whether you barely register on your scale or you're afraid the numbers don't go quite high enough. the number doesn't say anything about who you are. it can't contain you. just like the mom jeans can never quite contain my mom pooch. be as free as your mom pooch. wear those mom jeans with pride! hashtag i'm with mom jeans. hasthag make mom jeans great again.


1 comment:

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