Wednesday, March 11, 2015

week 23

so a few weeks ago i broke down and purchased a few items of materntiy clothing. even though i can still wear my belly band and get by with most of my looser fitting tops and empire waist dresses, they just do not fit comfortably. also, maternity pants gently lure you into the belief that maybe all pants should have elastic waists and room for dessert.

but then yesterday i tried on this fitted dress and immediately burst into laughter to keep from bursting into tears. i look like i have swallowed a soccer ball. fo realz.

also... the nugget is a GIRL!

if you had asked me for my true gut instinct over whether the nugget was man or lady, i would have said girl the whole time. something inside me just gave me this feeling of peace that "it" was a "she". however, i desperately wanted it to be a boy. because G really wanted a son to share his genes and maybe his looks and that's a hard thing for me to really understand fully. but he wanted it so i wanted it for him.

i felt like a giant failure to have to face him across the table and stare at a poorly rendered image of our daughter's lady bits. so i think maybe it was good that we waited a few weeks to tell people because now i can say without any reservation, we are so happy she's a she. it just feels right.

we hosted a small gathering for our immediate families to announce our lady nugget and her name. it all feels so real now. we mostly call her by her name and sometimes when she wants to throw a dance party at bedtime i jiggle the belly and tell her to settle down.

baby size: i have personally never seen a grapefruit with a diameter of almost 12 inches but apparently they exist. hoping she's still closer to the 13 oz. range than 20 oz.

weight gain: 9-10 lbs. blah. my goal of staying under 130 is slipping farther and farther away.

craving: lately i've been drinking juice to make the nugget dance.

can't even: have i mentioned that i'm in a wedding in may? see weight gain and clothing discussion points to understand my tension over fitting into a bridesmaid dress that was ordered before the bump was loud and proud.

loving: the second half of the second trimester has been smooth sailing. except for feeling totally uncomfortable when lying down, i have been really blessed with good health and very few negative symptoms.