week 31

i've been dragging my feet to update you on the happenings of the #rowenugget because i haven't had a whole lot of positive words to share. and i don't want my pregnancy updates to just be filled with anger and disgust. 

we love our #rowenugget. we already think she's the best thing ever, because to us she is. i'm so sentimental because she's probably our only tiny newborn. our first and last hospital baby. honestly, pregnancy was never a state of being i wanted to experience. in my dream world all my babies would be adopted, saving me from all the yucky parts of cooking up your own offspring. but that is not God's plan for me and i am very grateful that my life revolves around his wisdom and not my own. 

right now, one pregnancy has brought all the fulfillment i need. i truly don't foresee me desiring to walk this road to parenthood again. like ever. but don't mistake that for regret. i absolutely have no regrets about our little panda.

physically, pregnancy had been easier than i anticipated. i can't do a lot of things that super fit pregnant women can do, but i'm healthy. i haven't had a single blip on the radar as far as medical concerns and even though sometimes i'm so tired i just want to cry i have been able to maintain a somewhat normal schedule. also, i haven't been sick - no colds, no flu, no strep throat. i am so thankful.

which brings me to the emotional toll of pregnancy. ohmygus. i didn't know everything would hurt my feelings. i know i'm gigantic, i don't need you to comment on my size. or tell me i'm already so big i'll never make it to my due date. or that you thought i should have already had the baby based on how big i am. or that i must have "twins in there". and i need to buy larger clothes. normally these type of comments would make my want to take my hulk size body and rip you in half. but i'm pregnant. so instead all it does is make me go home and cry.

feel free to judge me all you want. just do it behind my back. please.

baby size: nearing 4 lbs. and 17 inches "head to heel", the size of a pineapple! (including the leafy top part? who knows)

weight gain: around 18 pounds. i don't want to talk about it. 

craving: kinder words. 

can't even: breathing is seriously hard. also, bring me all the champagne to the hospital. hashtag poppin' bottles. 

loving: my husband. i've always been a wee bit on the independent (read: stubborn) side. i don't like to ask for help and i definitely do not like needing help. but lately i can't do normal things without help and G never complains about helping me.