week 38

the end is near.

it seems that our little #rowenugget is most definitely arriving before july 4th. the midwives bumped up my 39 week appointment by two days to ensure that an induction was scheduled by the time i am officially 39 weeks pregnant. however, in the most dramatic turn of events (not) my amniotic fluid level is back to normal. do i still have polyhydramnios? no one really knows. but i guess that there's maybe a small chance i won't be induced? #confusion

{this photo seems to communicate that i'm trying to steal all the watermelon under my shirt in the most nonchalant manner ever. don't mind me. i'm just holding my belly. up. i'm literally holding my belly up so it doesn't drag the floor. or something.}

regardless, i am still hoping to make it to june 30 or july 1, at the very least. these days have no special meaning to me other than it will work out much better with my and G's vacation time situation at work. but i am a little sad that our panda is going to be born on the most popular vacation week of the year resulting in many family and friends being out of town for her arrival.

in other news, i am officially burnt out on pregnancy. there have been days when i have absolutely loved being chosen to carry our little nugget, days when i've been in awe that i am actually growing a person. but in general, pregnancy has stretched me to the very limit, physically and emotionally.

i am not a person that thinks my pregnant body is lovely. i hate my pregnant body. i am totally over comments about my pregnant body. basically i rage every time someone mentions how pregnant i look. it is the equivalent of telling me i look like a close relative of the swamp thing. i have serious anxiety about losing the baby weight. i tear up when i consider that i will never get my pre-baby body back. last summer i was frolicking down the sandy shore in a bikini, people. if i had only known how precious those days were...

on the other hand, G has really enjoyed the giggle fits that pregnany brought to my life. i am not a random giggle fit person. i am not really a laughing person. i am dry and my personality is pretty monotone. but pregnancy gave me the gigs for real. however, with the giggles also came the random outbursts of tears and the unquenchable anger for no good reason. fun. G has really enjoyed that, as well.



baby size: G and i have a bet on how large the #rowenugget will be. i am guessing she is already around 7.5-8 lbs and will definitely weigh over 8 lbs. at birth. polyhydramnios typically results in larger babies. G is guessing under 8 lbs.

weight gain: i am embarrassed to even admit this, but somewhere around 29 lbs. yikes. i'd like to blame some of it on the polyhydramnios and swelling. but who knows.

craving: i don't know if it's just the summer heat but i have been wanting all the fresh veggies and fruit.

can't even: it's been unreasonably hot these last few weeks here in NC. like walking out the door at 7 am to 89 degree heat. i mean seriously. i can't even. also, i literally have not felt my right pinky or ring finger in days.

loving: all the baby things and imagining holding a little baby in all her cute little baby clothes.